mental fucked. haha.

somehow or rather, i am appointed to be platoon IC
damn it. luckily it's all over la.
though is not that tough, i still dun like to be one.

i still prefer my slacker life. haha.

oh well, tml gonna book in like straight after lunch time.
wth. sian.
today aso din go out la.
wanna rest.

hopefully next week can be smooth too.
next platoon IC, GOOD LUCK UH!
hahahahaha.

22nd july last year,

22nd july this year,

how i wish you were still by me.

devastated.

book out as usual
but going in with a heavy mood.

i hate my life.
things just dun go the right way.
i cant put it down.
seriously, i just cant.

i am so useless.

first book out.

finally 2 weeks of confinement over le.

I'm out! at home currently!
oh well, kinda overjoyed when in the tunnel.

but reach home jiu normal le.
things just not as smooth as expected.
things just goes wrong.

but finally i found what i really wanted when i'm close to death.
i finally knew..

bye bye!

ok.

gonna sleep and tml will POOF!
botak. haha.

whatever la.

goodnight.
cya in 2 weeks time.

last day of civilian life.

ok. it's 12am.
officially today is the last day of my civilian life.
i have packed my stuffs alr.
i have done whatever i think i need to do.
but disappointing results.
i'm just nobody to you.

oh well. wadever.
you guys should be guessing where will i be going to enjoy or party?

haha. sorry to disappoint you all.
nah. i'm intending to stuck myself at home.
letting my phone rest.
making my mp3 and lappy work extra hard.

at the same time,
relax myself,
calm my feelings,
to achieve a peaceful state of mind.
prepare myself for the day. (:

moody.

it has been a long time since i last updated.

i guess nobody reads it nowadays.
somehow,
i have been getting more and more moody everyday i wake up.
i hate this world.
i detest this world.
for no reason.

i find talking to people are such a troublesome task to do.
i find entertaining others are such irritating task to do.
nobody really knows what i need.
nobody really knows what i wanted to do.
nobody really knows me.

whenever go out, i dun feel like talking much.
whenever dining, i dun feel like eating/drinking much.
whenever listen to mp3, i dun feel like listening to fast songs.
i have no reason for all these.
i myself dunno why too.

enlisting in like 1 week's time.
things needed have been prepared more and less.
but i'm not emotionally stable at all.
i cant sleep. tossing and turning all night.
keep thinking about her and stuffs.
woke up with half of the afternoon gone.

i told the whole world i'm fine without her.
i told the whole world she cant affect my live.
i told the whole world i dun love her.
i showed the whole world i can live without her.

yet i can't do it.
i'm not happy without her.
her actions and words are affecting me greatly,
just like fat man and little boy dropping in japan.
i still love her more than anything.
i can't see my smile without her.
i am a big fat LIER!

i'm feeling low, moody, listless.
use whatever u want to describe me.
i have no mood to do anything.
i felt like a living corpse.
no motivation, no purpose.

i've lose myself completely..
i rose my white flag..

13th april

First day without baby.

Omnia couple
Broke up. I felt terrible.
I felt as if i lost the entire world.
Everything seems meaningless.

I left my house.
I tried to escape from reality.
I travel.
All i thought is still you.

The stuffs we wanted to do tgt
All unfinished.
License, Our week, Ring.

I was unable to do anything with concentration.
Neither gaming, online, TV-ing nor Eating.
It was a terrible feeling.

I stared at my phone.
Hoping you will msg me.
Hoping a miracle will occur.

Disappointment.
You are in the mood of going K box tml.
Perhaps I am really insignificant.