beg to differ.

as usual, schooling again. yet the atmosphere and feelings are no longer the same. it reminds me of what happened in the past.

it was approximately three and a half years ago, somebody asked me a very simple question yet it struck me greatly. the question was, ' are you happy with everything you are given with?' my ans den was, ' ya of cos, why not? i have a complete family, someone who loved me, friends who understands me, money to spend, satisfactory results and freedom. well, i'm happy.'

however, when it strucked me again, perhaps there will be a 180 degree change in answer. it's been years. and sad to say, not a single soul actually understands me, nobody knows what i am thinking, no one knows me well. it appeared that i'm completed. but who really knows what am i looking for, what do i really need? no one.

on the path of life, nobody sees when i have fallen down, nobody sees when i am lost, nobody sees when i am in a corner of a room drowning into sorrow. oh please, i need a break in life too. guesses, fake smiles and lies makes me felt exhausted, until the extend where i wish i could jus sleep for a few decades. it feels like i am the bad guy who commited unpardonable crime. no trial, no defence council and verdict passed. no question asked!

it became futile to explain when the judges are already taking sides. anyway, i am too tired to defend for myself. the fact is how people pictures one another depends very much on how well they understands each other.

'perhaps these years are truely wasted.'